...America...Great...
- I Come out and Say, "Hello Toronto!"
- Then I Talk About Tattoos!
- Celebrating the Ignoring of Genocide!
- A Bit I Stole from Dave Attell!
- Vape Japes!
- Hello, Adolf
- Oh No He Didn't!! He Said, "Patriojizm?!"
- What a Fool Believes (But Not the Doobie Brothers Version)
- Shoot First, Ask Questions Never
- National Trifle Association
- The Marked Difference Between Muslims and Other Insane People
- History's Most Excellent Raping Brotherhood
Mehr Songtexte
- Certain leaders in government look or act like certain pop culture references!
- My Daughter's First Date
- Silly Religious Crazies
- Wills to Pets
- Shaving the Pope's Pussy
- Lesson Learned
- CES and Porn
- Women, please rinse off your vagina and anus!
- Even Though I Am in the Closet, That Won't Prevent Me From Getting Cheap Laughs at the Expense of Homosexuals!
- Weathermen have become, for the most part, obsolete!
- Spiderman vs. Batman vs. Wonder Woman on the Rag
- … Or Worse
- Dating
- Abortion Doctor From Hell!
- If Baseballs Had AIDS on Them
- Fetal Tissue
- Black Stuff
- Austin Powers Saying "Yeah Baby"
- If You Care
- Where We Are Now Back in September '09
- Pandering to the locals!
- A rapid series of comical noises!
- "You Go, Girl!"
- Amish Kid
- Diarrhea Moustache
- American Way and the Bible
- Sing Along
- Phone Call From a Cranky Terrorist
- Monica Lewinsky and the Three Bears
- Advertising
- When It Comes to Jews, Behavior One Might Perceive as Obnoxious and Annoying I Present as "Quirky" but It's Okay to Joke About It Because I, Myself, Am Jewish!
- I Can't Get Beer in Me...
- Virgin Mary
- Crucifixion
- Socks and Shoes
- Miles for Kids
- Random Goofabouts
- ending skit
- Lunch With Frankenstein
- Lazy Business Ideas
- Freebird
- Xian Airline Food
- Crack Baby
- Introduction
- My immigrant mom talks funny!
- Going to Turkey
- Opening Song (The Sultan's Revenge)
- End of Show
- The Most Surreal Thing and Egg Wave
- Religion
- Dr. Kevorkian
- Inside the Actor's Studio, Acting, James Lipton
- My Wife's Crazy!
- High Times
- Flying on a Mexican Plane
- Protest Singer Ainsley Mctree
- When All Is Said and Done, I Am Lonely and Miserable and Barely Able to Mask My Contempt for the Audience as I Trot Out the Same Sorry Act I've Been Doing Since the Mid-Eighties!
- Porn Convention
- Promise Keepers
- That One Show About Drugs and Stuff
- REALLY Silly Religious Crazies. I Mean, Double, Triple Crazy!!
- Fake Tits/Real Beer
- Organ Donation
- Stephen Hawking
- The South
- Sex on the Internet!?
- Media Violence
- Year 2000
- Goodnight Assholes!
- My Child Is Enthralling, Especially When It Says Something Unexpectedly Precocious Even Though It Doesn't Understand What It Just Said!
- Me and Drugs
- Magic Trick
- Las Vegas
- Water Into Wine
- Porn
- I've Taken a Popular Contemporary Pop Song and Changed the Lyrics to Comment on the Proliferation of Starbucks in My Neighborhood!
- Footprints
- Although indigent, rural families have little to say in the matter, third rate public education has kept them ignorant and thus, great sources of ridicule!
- Shaving the Pope’s Pussy
- When it comes to Jews, behavior one might perceive as obnoxious and annoying I present as “quirky” but it’s okay to joke about it because I, myself, am Jewish!
- Austin Powers Saying “Yeah Baby”
- My Daughter’s First Date
- When all is said and done, I am lonely and miserable and barely able to mask my contempt for the audience as I trot out the same sorry act I’ve been doing since the mid‐eighties!
- Even though I am in the closet, that won’t prevent me from getting cheap laughs at the expense of homosexuals!
- My Wife’s Crazy!
- I Can’t Get Beer in Me…
- My child is enthralling, especially when it says something unexpectedly precocious even though it doesn’t understand what it just said!
- “You Go, Girl!”
- I’ve taken a popular contemporary pop song and changed the lyrics to comment on the proliferation of Starbucks in my neighborhood!
- Where We Are Now Back in September ’09
- Opening Song (The Sultan’s Revenge)
- Breaking Up (Part 1)
- Oh, I Forgot You Could Do That (Part 1)
- Oh, I Forgot You Could Do That (Part 3)
- Cigar Corner, Part 2
- Oh, I Forgot You Could Do That (Part 2)
- Heaven! (Part 2)
- Heaven! (Part 1)
- Things to Do When You Are Bored (Part 2)
- Bill O'Reilly Fantasy (Part 1)
- Bill O'Reilly Fantasy (Part 3)
- Bill O'Reilly Fantasy (Part 2)
- Preface (Part 2)
- Bill O'Reilly Fantasy (Part 4)
- But It's Good for You!
- Minutes of the Development and Programming Meeting for FOX Television's New Season (Part 1)
- A Free List of Quirks for Aspiring Independent Filmmakers (Part 2)
- Other Ways in Which Jews Can Utilize Current Technology to Get Around God's Strict Laws for the Sabbath
- Preface (Part 1)
- Gay Canada (Part 1)
- Gay Canada (Part 2)
- An Open Letter to Larry the Cable Guy (Part 1)
- Beef With Jim Belushi (Part 1)
- Things to Do When You Are Bored (Part 1)
- I Don't Have Children
- The Golden Age of Cowardice (Part 3)
- I Hate America! Or, I Hate America? (Part 1)
- Ask a Rabbi! (Part 3)
- I Would Be the Shittiest Survivor in History (Part 1)
- I Would Be the Shittiest Survivor in History (Part 2)
- A Little Bit About Me, 'Cause It's My Book (Part 3)
- A Little Bit About Me, 'Cause It's My Book (Part 5)
- A Little Bit About Me, 'Cause It's My Book (Part 4)
- A Little Bit About Me, 'Cause It's My Book (Part 2)
- A Little Bit About Me, 'Cause It's My Book (Part 1)
- An Afterthought
- Breaking Up (Part 2)
- Beef With Jim Belushi (Part 2)
- Scrapbooking in Michigan (Part 1)
- Scrapbooking in Michigan (Part 2)
- An Open Letter to Larry the Cable Guy (Part 2)
- Original Message (Part 1)
- Original Message (Part 2)
- Ask a Rabbi! (Part 2)
- A Short Request to Lame Friends
- I Ain't No This or That
- Correspondence With Dave Eggers (Part 1)
- Involuntary Random Thoughts I've Had Not Always When I Was Pooing but Certainly Sometimes When I Was Pooing
- In Anticipation of Reading This Right Now (Part 2)
- Acknowledgements
- I Think Rich People Are Boring
- For the Love of God! (Part 1)
- You'll Never Guess!!!
- Ideas for T-Shirts to Be Sold at Urban Outfitters
- We Have Got to Stop Calling So Many People "Heroes"
- A Free List of Quirks for Aspiring Independent Filmmakers
- An Open Letter to Larry the Cable Guy (Part 4)
- Sweet Mary J.
- An Open Letter to Larry the Cable Guy (Part 3)
- Sitting on a Pole Trying to Win Some Money
- The Golden Age of Cowardice (Part 1)
- Preface
- Ask a Rabbi! (Part 1)
- Cigar Corner
- How to Play "Mafia," the Funnest Yet Most Unnerving Game Ever Invented (Part 2)
- Correspondence With Dave Eggers (Part 2)
- How to Play "Mafia," the Funnest Yet Most Unnerving Game Ever Invented (Part 1)
- Hey! Free Advice! (Part 2)
- Cigar Corner: Bonus Story!
- In Anticipation of Reading This Right Now (Part 1)
- For the Love of God! (Part 2)
- YourStar.com
- Credits
- Truck Stop (Part 1)
- Truck Stop (Part 2)
- The Five People You Meet in Limbo
- Don't Abandon Your Baby
- Letter From the Future
- Excerpts From the Galley Copy of James Frey's Latest Memoir, Lesson Learned (Part 1)
- Excerpts From the Galley Copy of James Frey's Latest Memoir, Lesson Learned (Part 2)
- The Mystifying Allure of Gratuitous Luxury (Part 2)
- Minutes of the Development and Programming Meeting for FOX Television's New Season (Part 2)
- The Mystifying Allure of Gratuitous Luxury (Part 1)
- The Mystifying Allure of Gratuitous Luxury (Part 3)
- Didja Know?
- A Free List of Quirks for Aspiring Independent Filmmakers (Part 1)
- Top Ten Top Ten Lists List
- The Golden Age of Cowardice (Part 2)
- Woodstock
- A Short List of Videos With Babies in Them That I Have Not Seen on the Internet but Most Likely Exist and I Would Like to See at Some Point
- I Hate America! Or, I Hate America? (Part 2)
- Correspondence With Dave Eggers (Part 3)
- A Non-Sponsored Look at Holidays in America (Part 1)
- A Non-Sponsored Look at Holidays in America (Part 2)
- Intro
- My Memoir-To-Be
- Hey! Free Advice! (Part 1)
- But Not Really (Couples Colonic, Pt. 3)
- My Very Extra Special Trump Fantasy
- Shooting the S**t / Too Soon?
- Father Failure
- Clown Pain Fun
- One Can Only Dream
- Baby Failure
- Truth = Cynicism
- How the Sausage Is Made (Couples Colonic, Pt. 4)
- And Speaking of Taking a Rape Shower…
- Encore
- A Couples Colonic?!
- Small Talk
- Sort of (Couples Colonic, Pt. 2)
- Narcissism and the Slow March to Oblivion
- We're Different People
