Porn Star Tits Songtext
von Eliza McLamb

When I was ten years old, a man on the internet
Told me I had porn star tits
I didn′t know what that meant
But I knew he was getting off on it

So I wore a bikini top under my V-neck
Went to the mall to try on some makeup
Walked into GameStop looking for attention
But all I got was condescension

In seventh grade, I figured out
That my porn star tits are pretty powerful
They make boys be nice to me for a week

Then they trade that shit like Pokemon cards
Swapping my body with somebody else's
That′s metrically hotter than mine
How can I, a seven, compete with all these nines?
(Dude, she thinks she's a seven)


Well, I guess I could steal their boyfriends
Or I guess I could go to church
I either play the whore or Madonna
And I'm not sure which one′s worse

(She is so easy, bro)
(Yeah, that′s right)
(Nice tits)

Bought a pack of Marlboro Reds
'Cause I saw on Tumblr that′s a pretty girl cigarette
Smoked one thinking it made me look cool
Then I threw it all up in the girls' bathroom at school

And on the weekends
I show up to parties that I′m not invited to
Out of spite, I have a good attitude
Dance all night 'til I end up in someone′s room

I say, "I like the way you talk to me"
He says, "I like the way you look at me
Hey, by the way, if we sleep together
Tomorrow I'll act like I don't remember"

And that′s when it dawned on me
That my porn star tits are pretty good currency
For mediocre sex and a feeling of total fucking emptiness


I mean, didn′t I ask for it a little bit
In some strange way, I kinda like it
That voice in my head telling me
"Good girl, it's working, isn′t it"
Isn't it? Fuck!

If I have to feel so disembodied, the body better be bangin′
It's gotta be the type to get me a few likes
On Instagram and a DM that says, "Slut"