How Do You Milk A Cow Songtext
von Cledus T. Judd

Yeah I was always the lazy one,
A Southern Californian,
But I′ve got some kinfolk on the Mason-Dixon line.
So this summer just for fun
Hopped in my DeLorean
And headed for my uncle's farm for a short time.

I thought that I would be huntin′ and fishin'.
I misunderstood him somehow.
So far there's nothin′ but chores here to mention.
I didn′t mind feedin the sows.

But HOW DO YOU MILK A COW?
How do you milk a cow?
I wasn't in FFA.
This cow must think i′m crazy
Up under it this way.
I'm sittin′ here a pullin', but there ain′t nothin' comin' out.
Oh E I E I O...
How do you milk a cow?


Yeah I love it here in Tennesse,
But these farmers all make fun of me.
Can′t haul much hay in a tiny sports car.
So I got myself a 4 wheel drive,
Learned to spotlight deer at night,
And I′ve got shearin' sheep right down to an art.

One thing′s for sure,
I hate shovelin' manure,
It gets all over my overalls.
Them horses need shoein′
I hear Bessie mooin'.
So I thought maybe I′d ask you all.

HOW DO YOU MILK A COW?
How do you milk a cow?
I think it's safe to say
A man could get arrested for this in LA
This heifer must be empty 'cause she ain′t puttin out.
Oh E I E I O,
Tell me how do you milk a cow.

(Spoken)
This song is absolutely an "udder" disaster.
I hope I don′t get mad cow diease.


How do you milk a cow?
I no longer care.
I'm gettin sick and tired of smellin′ dairy air.
I'm headin′ back to Cali
And I'm turnin′ in my plow.
Oh E I E I O.
How do you milk a cow?