You’ve Arrived Songtext
von Ben Caplan

You've arrived
That much is clear
God knows where you're coming from
But now you're here

Just relax
But not too much
I need your cooperation to ensure a gentle touch

I will need
A volunteer
Maybe two to get us going
There's a lot to get through here

Thank you sir
Thank you ma'am
Step right up for your exam
You will help to demonstrate for all eight hundred forty-eight

You'll survive
So have no fear
You have travelled long and far but now the journey's end is near


You say "Thank you"
"I'm in your debt"
I would like to say you're welcome but that's not established yet
We must mow through some formalities
Prescribed by the bureaucracy
Upon which we must all agree
Before I can say that you're free

For the right to earn a dollar
Go check to test for cholera
A formality, I'm certain
"Can I step behind the curtain?"

There's no time for modesty!
Another boat arrives at three
There's chickenpox, appendicitis, measles,
Polio, bronchitis, typhoid, and a rabid fever
All the doctors here are eager

Now let's try a couple posers
Turn around and touch your tosers
And of course this pose exposes
Places that don't smell like roses

But for modesty, God chose us
Have no time for buxom hosers
Brush hair hits your noses
You must have got tuberculosis


Just a little degradation
Before you can join our nation
You accept our invitation
(...)
Of sanitation