The Learner's Brassiere Songtext
von Allan Sherman

This one I wrote this afternoon.
That′s the truth.
I had written the first little part of this, and I sang it two weeks ago Sunday on the Ed Sullivan show, and... the song is called "Mononucleosis"...and my daughter, I talked to her, and she said all the kids in her school, there were a hundred kids in her junior high school who had it, and they think it's a real good subject for a song. And, that′s why I originally wrote it was that she had come home with this mononucleosis about six months ago (she's thirteen), and then Life magazine came out a month or so later with an article on it that explained that it was the kissing disease. So I put those two facts together. I'm a very, you know, thrilling detective. And I was wondering, well, you know, I′m... I guess I′m old-fashioned because about six months ago she got one of those learner's brassieres... Well actually she′s learning real good if you want to know! I mean, the first couple of weeks it used to slide down and dangle around her ankles and trip her, but she's really getting the hang of it now.
Anyway, so, I dedicated this song sort of to her because of the curiosity that was aroused in my mind by these two things happening at once. And it goes like this...
We don′t have any arrangement of it, they're just kinda faking it, and we′ll just try it. If it works, we'll stick it on the album, if not, I'll just... kill myself.
Go ahead.